Jersey-lious?…


The houses, the cars, the diamonds, the jewelry, the cloths, the bratty kids, the good kids, the annoying neighbors, the hair and make up, the cat fights, and the drama – boy do we love the drama. Oh it’s all in good fun and it is pure Jersey-lious and genius on the part of the producers’ of reality tv. Think about it – their overhead expenses are minimal and if you’ll allow me to take it one step further,  if I were a business that could afford tv advertising – you bet your sweet bippy that I’d have my ads running when the Housewives of New Jersey aired.

Let me start from the beginning of my sick obsession that I was sucked into like a Hoovervacuum. Somewhat mindlessly and before the days of my space and facebook there was cable tv. It started out as a past time when I moved to (pardon the expression) the Jersey shore 7 years ago. It was January, my circle of friends lived all over the country, here, I knew no one. The weather wasn’t my vision of living at the shore, you know the perfect and beautiful balmy day. Oh noo,  more like a whipping wind that stung your face if you dared to take the dogs for a walk and a damp cold that I have never felt before, but wanted no parts of, it literally chilled me to the marrow. Cocooning and hibernating was my mode.  Hiding myself from the world I knew and just staying inside was all I wanted to do – no, really.

Hello couch, tv and my trusty remote control. My couch and I became great friends and 30/40 pounds later I had a bad habit. My bad habit consisted of sitting on my cushy couch lounging, eating ice cream, and watching any Lifetime movie or reality tv program I could click on to. Hours passed by, days passed and I was content. I barely got up to take a shower because I couldn’t take my eyes of the tube. Life was interesting, even though I was living it through other people, like “Being Bobby Brown, or Millionaire Matchmaker or my first favorite – Surreal Life.”  Back then I couldn’t get enough of Brigitte Nielsen and Public Enemy’s Flava Flav. They were a train wreck and I couldn’t  break away from looking.

Finally I had an intervention with myself after watching Celebrity Rehab and realized I was on the road to fat-ness. I got a job, and now I fit in somewhere, I had something to talk about at the water cooler, at the hairdressers and while waiting in line at the supermarket. Never did I admit it to anyone that I loved the craziness, I shrugged it off as a funny comment like; “oh my God, can you believe these people, hahahah,” but secretly I was in reality tv awe!

Then something happened, I got my bill from Comcast and I got on a scale – yikes on both counts. Cold turkey was the only option – the cable was canceled and the diet started. All was good, I entertained myself with my various hobbies like painting, making soap, writing and reading, you know the things people did before we started to stalk old boyfriends on facebook.

About a year ago while visiting my cousin, for my annual birthday weekend in January it was far to cold to go out. There were threats of snow so we planned our day accordingly. We’d walk the dogs early, grab coffee and breakfast, then rent and watch movies all day. We planted and planned our positions on her comfy couch. We stocked up on every type of snack food imaginable and then we started to channel surf. A mistake. I was introduced to  the “Housewives of New Jersey.” My cousin had to get me up to speed on this show because I no longer watched tv. I was hooked, I had a relapse and I couldn’t get enough of my new fav. Caroline, Jacqueline, annoying Daniele, her even more annoying friend Kim G, Teresa, Dina – they all were all my new besties!

Living a very simple life at the beach it was unbelievable to me that people actually need all of the stuff they have, but even more unbelievable that most behave so poorly (not my level headed Jacqueline or Caroline o HWONJ maybe someday I will get to meet them). Still there is something about reality tv and I’ve figured it out –  it is for lovers of comedy and I love a good laugh. My obsession was justified as laughing is good for the soul and these shows provide the comedic relief. Keep up the good work girls!

Hey, what better way to go through the motions of crazy without really being crazy, it’s all Jersey-lious.

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